Five year plan...Pshhh

"Where do you see yourself in five years?" A job interviewer's favorite question and an interviewee's worst nightmare. Well at least this interviewee. Who really has a five year plan? Who really has a one year plan, ya know? If there is only one thing in this world that I know for sure, it's that lifes favorite pitch to throw is the old number two. You'd think that at least once in a while it would throw you the straight heat. "The high, stinky cheese," as Henry Rowengardner once called it. But nope, it is with out fail life will continue firing curveball after curveball after curverball at you. And most of the time it won't even be in the strike zone. It will just let you stand there, eager and waiting for something straight. But it won't come. Not never.

Anyway, I was asked that question today in an interview I had at a local television station. I mean I knew it was coming, I had prepared for it last night. Thought out an awesome answer, something they would want to hear, eat it right up. But then when I got to the actual interview, and the question arose, like a snake out of a basket, it got me thinking. So in the spirit of my idiocy, I decided I'm going to share with you how I would have answered the question in years past, and then end with what I came up with today. Here goes:

6th Grade:
Parents - "Where do you see yourself in five years"
Me - "Who cares?"

8th Grade:
Dad - "Where do you you see yourself in five years?"
Me - "Hopefully in some chicks bed."

10th Grade:
Coach - "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
Me - "Starting two guard for the North Carolina Tar Heels, contemplating leaving early for the NBA."

12th Grade:
College Guidence Counselor - "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
Me - "Probably a recent grad of UTI working on cars in kensington or somewhere."

Sophomore in College:
Parents - "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
Me - "Who cares?"

Today:
News Producer - "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
Me - "I hate this question, but I'm going to level with you. In five years I see myself here, hopefully not where I started. Maybe in the sports department, maybe with your job...should you decide to leave of course. Hopefully I'll have my own house, maybe have a wife and a baby boy. But honestly, we both know thats not how it will be. So why even ask that question. I mean I have goals and all, and yes I would like to reach them...but life changes often. And your ability to get through it relies greatly on your ability to adapt. And like I said earlier that's one of my strong character traits."

I mean I thought it was a money answer. He seemed to like it. So here's hoping they employ me. Because none of my other plans ever worked out...

O.L.D.

Credits:
Parents
Coach
Mr. Felice
News Producer